In the midst

Sarah and I are planning our wedding, as we have been for about a month.  Overall, it’s been a pleasant experience.  Sarah is great.  She is taking on much of the responsibility and asking me to be involved only on the major decisions.  It’s not that I don’t want to be deeply involved, it’s just that she’s been thinking about this day for a lot longer than I have.  And so I’ve taken a posture of support and agreement–something she makes very easy for me.

Gorgeous, isn’t she?

And as I have wedding plans in mind, I have come across a wonderful quote by A.W. Tozer:

I once heard Dr. George D. Watson, one of the great Bible teachers of his generation, point out that men can have two kinds of love for God–the love of gratitude or the love of excellence.  He urged that we go on from gratefulness to a love of God just because He is God and because of the excellence of His character.

Unfortunately, God’s children rarely go beyond the boundaries of gratitude.  I seldom hear anyone in worshipful prayer admiring and praising God for His eternal excellence.

Many of us are strictly “Santa Claus” Christians.  We think of God as putting up the Christmas tree and putting our gifts underneath.  That is only an elementary kind of love.

We need to go on.  We need to know the blessing of worshiping in the presence of God without thought of wanting to rush out again.  We need to be delighted in the presence of utter, infinite excellence. (What Ever Happened to Worship?)

That last line captures me.  That’s what I want.  For it’s only in the discovery of the Excellent One can we appreciate the beauty in this life, weddings included.

Life of David

Here’s the link to the Life of David study I’m listening to (under “David”):

http://www.heburnsforme.com/Mike_Bickle.html

I couldn’t recommend it more.

Highs & lows, Part 1

Currently, I’m studying the Life of David.  He has been portrayed to me in the past as a sort of manic, whose ups and downs are recorded in the book of the Psalms.  But interestinly enough, that view has been challenge (successfully) by a number of resources I’ve been consulting.  One in particular is Mike Bickle audio teachings “Studies in the Life of David.”  One particular session has caught my thoughts.  It concerns David’s core realities, which Bickle considers to be intimacy with God and meekness before men.

The interesting thing about David is, while he himself records his highs and lows, they are always directed toward the Lord.  Without fail, David continuously looks to God for solutions, never to his own abilities.  David celebrating victory.  David wondering about life.  David on the run.

We can either look at David as though he’s way too in touch with his emotions–like he needs some good medication and settle down for a moment to catch his breathe–or we can face ourself in his story.  It’s our wandering thoughts, our celebrations, our depression that we can see in this mighty king.  This king is someone we can relate to.  If we’re honest about ourselves.  With ourselves.

What I enjoy about David is that he’s not too far out there.  He’s no Paul (although when you look at Paul’s life, his highs and lows become more evident, he becoming more and more tangible to the imagination).  He’s his own man, living his own life.  From the pasture the palace, David is his own man in the making, being fashioned by God into the king who will go down in the history books as a man after God’s own heart.  But few details are spared in telling the David-story, I think because the Lord wanted to display someone we can relate to as we are searching out this life for meaning and for direction and for God.  David is definitley someone I can imagine myself emulating.  Or just hanging out with.

Alone?

It’s not loneliness that I feel, but more like an alone-ness that grips my heart in curiosity–yet something stronger.  Are there any more like me out there?  Lord, are there more like-minded and like-hearted people out there with the same vision as me?  Do any others, especially in my generation, who have a house of prayer burning on their hearts?  Where are those like Anna and Mary of Bethany?

There are those who I am fellowship with, but I long to go deeper into the Lord’s heart.  It’s not that I believe that I have some special, secret revelation.  But as I read works from the mystics of ancient times, I am convinced that there is a deeper revelatory encounter that can be entered into.  And I want to go there.

But right now, I feel so dry and distracted in the place of prayer.  My thoughts wander, and the spirit seems so shallow–like I can’t break through to some deeper realm.

Lord, show me the way.  Teach me the way to the deepest part of your heart.  Amen.